The guide to virtual abortion care for parents

Abortions are not just for people without children—they’re for parents, too. In fact, six out of 10 people who get an abortion already have kids. Many parents decide to end pregnancies because they want to focus on the children they already have or want to wait to expand their family at a later time. 

If you are a parent and up to 10 weeks pregnant, a medication abortion may be a convenient option for you. With virtual clinics like Hey Jane, parents are able to sign up for care online, consult with a licensed provider via text or a quick call, and complete treatment from the comfort of home. Everything is done online and delivered to your door, fitting into your schedule more easily than in-person treatment. If you’ve decided to have an abortion, here’s how you can navigate the situation while caring for yourself and your family. 

Benefits of medication abortion for parents

Depending on how far along you are into your pregnancy, you can have a more comfortable experience by taking abortion medication at home. 

If you have children, a virtual abortion care clinic gives you the flexibility to work around both your and your kids’ schedules. You won’t have to miss work, arrange child care during your appointment, or worry about being late to pick up kids because your appointment ran over. Instead, you can consult with a provider virtually, take your medication at home while the kids are away or asleep, and continue with your normal routine. 

As you take the medication, you can connect with our clinical care team through a secure messaging app, on your phone or tablet, call us on our 24/7 emergency hotline, and connect with other patients in our peer support forum, The Lounge, which has a channel dedicated to parents.. 

Find out if you’re eligible for our virtual care services here. 

Will my partner or kids know I had an abortion?

If you don’t want your partner or children to know of your abortion, rest assured that your medication comes in discreet, unmarked packaging for confidentiality.

Your shipment from Hey Jane comes in a basic mailer without our company name to maintain your privacy.

We will never discuss your treatment with your partner or anyone else. We will not share that you have had an abortion with your primary care provider, OBGYN, or any other medical provider outside of Hey Jane unless you request it. 

If you are using insurance to pay for treatment, note that the policyholder of your health plan may receive communications from your insurance plan. This can include confidential health information, such as the services you received and when.

What are abortion pills?

Abortion pills are actually two different FDA-approved medications: mifepristone (which stops the pregnancy from growing) and misoprostol (which helps empty your uterus). Telehealth clinics like Hey Jane offer virtual health care and abortion pills by mail for pregnancies up to 10 weeks. After that, a procedural abortion can be performed at a clinic.

Medication abortion is very safe and effective. In fact, it is safer than both Tylenol and Viagra. In 2023, sixty-three percent of abortions in the US were done with mifepristone and misoprostol.

How much do abortion pills cost?

Medication abortion typically costs less than going to an in-person clinic for a procedural abortion. At Hey Jane, our goal is to make sure everyone has access to the care they need. We offer sliding scale pricing to all patients that determines the cost of treatment based on your personal financial circumstances. We also accept select insurance plans and offer payment plans through Apple Pay Later.

Need financial assistance? We partner with abortion funds to help cover the cost of treatment.

Tips for preparing for your medication abortion as a parent

Here are a few things you can do before starting abortion pills:

1. Decide when to take your pills

You can start treatment at any time, but planning ahead may help you rest and be comfortable during treatment. Some patients who are parents opt to start treatment during the week when their kids are at daycare or school, others prefer the weekend when friends and family are more available to help out. Everyone’s schedule is different.

Most people feel fine after taking the first medication, mifepristone, and continue all of their regular activities. There may be some vaginal bleeding but may not—either is okay. 

For the second medicine, misoprostol, you’ll want to be home so that you can be comfortable and have access to a private bathroom. Depending what method you use to take the misoprostol, you can start this step 6 to 24 after taking the mifepristone. 

2. Get all your medical supplies and snacks

Stocking up on some self-care items will help ease your symptoms and avoid a stressful trip to the store while you’re bleeding and cramping with a kid in tow. To save time and prevent stress, we recommend picking up  the following items:

• A heating pad
• Heavy flow menstrual pads
• Over-the-counter medications for cramps (ibuprofen or tylenol included with Hey Jane treatment) 
• A few light snacks and ginger ale to help with nausea

If you’re too busy to make it to the store, several home delivery services, like DoorDash and Instacart, can drop off your supplies right to your doorstep.  

3. Meal prep

If you’re the family cook and don’t want to spend much money on take-out during treatment, consider meal prepping. Before starting treatment, plan meals for the week and cook everything you need. Meal prepping ensures you and your family are cared for so you can focus on healing and nourishing your body. Think comforting recipes like warm soups or your family’s go-to favorites.

4. Get help with child care

Everyone’s experience is different, but having child care support can allow you to rest and focus on yourself. Plan on asking your partner, family member, or friend to assist with child care during treatment. Your support network can tend to the kids by taking them to daycare or school, cooking their meals, assisting with homework, or just keeping them out of your hair for a little while. Doing this can help reassure you that your kids are taken care of while you are going through your at-home abortion.

Caring for yourself and others during and after treatment 

As you start abortion care, it's important to find balance between taking care of your family and yourself. Here are some things you can do to have a comfortable experience. 

Don’t overexert yourself

You may feel pressured to resume household responsibilities and playtime with your kids. However, it’s essential to avoid any physical activities, such as picking up your children, as this can cause pain and bleeding. Lowkey activities like reading in bed or curling up for a movie with your kids are okay as long as you are feeling up to them. Now is the time to focus on your needs and prevent pain and discomfort. Don’t worry—you’ll be able to return to your usual self in no time.  

It’s okay to mourn

Having an abortion is an emotional experience. You might have complicated and/or intense thoughts about your decision—and that’s perfectly normal. 

Some ways you can process your abortion include:

• Filling up balloons and letting them go 
• Making a memory box
• Dancing to your favorite songs
• Sending off your pregnancy and closing the chapter in a way that’s significant to you and your cultural beliefs

Say affirmations

You may need some reassurance during and after abortion care. One method you can practice is by saying positive affirmations about ending your pregnancy that can be repeated in times of stress or sadness.

Here are some examples to get you started:

• I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.
• I’m making a decision I believe is best for me.
• No matter what happens today, I’ll remember the truth that I’m beautiful and powerful.

When can I have sex after an abortion?

You can resume having sex after an abortion whenever you feel ready. However, some health care providers suggest waiting two to three weeks before having vaginal sex or inserting anything into the vagina. The most important thing is to trust yourself and listen to your body when it comes to resuming sexual activities. You can also speak with your abortion care provider to get specifics on how you should navigate intercourse after completing your medication abortion. 

How quickly can I get pregnant after taking abortion pills?

It is possible to get pregnant right after having an abortion. According to research, you can begin ovulating again within two to three weeks of finishing your abortion medication. 

If you want to prevent pregnancy, you can speak with Hey Jane’s clinical care team to discuss birth control options. In the meantime, you can use condoms or barrier methods.

How to talk to your kids about abortion

You may decide that you want to discuss your abortion with your children. This might be an uncomfortable conversation to navigate, as they may have a lot of questions about why you’ve decided to end your pregnancy. Ultimately, you have control over what you do or don’t disclose to your kids.

A good resource to share with your kids to help them better understand abortion is the book What’s an Abortion, Anyway? by Carly Manes. This book, which is also available in Spanish, is a medically accurate, non-judgmental, and gender-inclusive resource for kids ages eight and up to learn about abortion care.

Finding resources for support

It might be helpful to have additional support—or just someone to talk to— outside your family and friends.

At Hey Jane, patients have access to a peer-to-peer online community called The Lounge. Current and past patients connect to provide support and offer advice having been in your shoes themselves. There are topic-specific channels in The Lounge, including one for parents. 

Two additional resources include:

• Through the Heart: A 501(c)(3) organization providing support to people dealing with pregnancy loss. They offer educational resources and their popular “Comfort Kits,” which include items like a journal, playing cards, and a seed packet that can provide comfort throughout your abortion care. 
• Faith Aloud: Offers compassionate and nonjudgmental support from trained spiritual care counselors with diverse backgrounds. You can call 1-888-717-5010 to discuss your pregnancy care or connect with a supportive clergy member or religious counselor.